


Painless

by starksrevelation



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, F/M, Failed Relationship, FrostIron - Freeform, M/M, Prostitution, Self-Harm, Suicide, post The Avengers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-02-28
Updated: 2014-02-28
Packaged: 2018-01-14 02:07:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 993
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1248733
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starksrevelation/pseuds/starksrevelation
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Loki was right,it did not hurt at all.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Painless

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ironniek](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ironniek/gifts).



> I just want to give a credit to her,because of her I got my writing spirit back,and here I am.  
> this first chapter is unedited,so I'm so sorry for any errors that you may find in the stories,I just didn't have time to edit it.

They were an inseparable couple,until one day Tony caught Loki fucking Steve while he was gone for a business trip overseas.He was happy that the meeting and those shitty presentation is over earlier than he had expected,wanting to surprise Loki,he doesn’t call first to tell the good news. As he landed on his personal airport and hopped into his car,he drove as fast as he could to the tower,glancing at the watch on the dashboard that read “11 PM”,while hoping that Loki is awake so that he could sneak into him and surprise him,but as he arrived on the tower and goes into his floor,he could feel that something is wrong,the whole floor is such a mess and he’s sure that he doesn’t leave his floor like this when he left this morning.

 

Confused,he heard some faint noises coming from his bedroom,so he check it out and found them there,fucking each other happily like they were the actual couple,not Tony and Loki. Heart shattered to pieces as a single tear falls from his eye and he growled,startling both Loki and Steve,they quickly put their own pants on as Loki stood up and walks over to Tony.

“I can explain this” Loki calmly spoke to him.

“Explain what?!This?!” Tony shouted to him,eyes glassy with tears

Loki just nodded and glares at Steve,telling him to go,and Steve did

He left them just like that without even apologizing to Tony.

Sighing,Loki places his hand on his shoulder,just as he was about to speak,Tony growled once more and shied his hand away “Let go of me” he hisses

“Tony-“ Loki tries one more time but Tony just look at him with eyes full of hatred and hurt

“Get out” he mumbles in a warning tone

“Bu-“ “I said,GET OUT!” Tony screamed at him and slapped him on the face.

Shocked and full of guilt also anger,Loki’s knees buckled and he falls to his knees in front of Tony “I’m so sorry,I promise this won’t happen again,please Tony,please don’t leave me” he wails as the tears starts falling from his eyes.

But,however,the mistake was done and there’s nothing he can do to fix it. Tony just stares at him coldly,unmoving and frigid as rock “get out.NOW”

Still sobbing,Loki stood up and drag himself towards the exit just as he heard the sound of metal clanging against the cold floor and he heard Tony mumbling “Don’t ever come back to me or to the tower,we’re done”,Loki knew,it was the sound of the ring that Tony dropped to the floor.

Yes,the ring is the only sign to tell everyone that they’re happily engaged,but now not anymore,all of their plans was shattered the moment when Tony walked into the room.

This is the end for both of them.

Loki wandered on the streets of New York for days,disguised himself as one of the hobos,at night he changed into his female form,working as a prostitute for money to live,to continue living because he doesn’t want to go back to Asgard,afraid that his failed relationship make the asgardians think that he’s just a whore,looking for an attention because his real family and his adopted one rejected him.He kept telling himself that no one wants him,so why bother eating,he could starve to death and all his pain and problems will be gone then he could go to Valhala,reunited with Frigga,the only person in the universe that could understand all his pains and problems,besides Tony of course,but his goddamn body won’t let him do that,his magic provides his body enough nutrition everyday until Loki buys himself a food.

At night,when he’s “working”,he often stares at Stark Tower,and felt a tear fall from his cheek,he missed Tony’s gentle touch when they’re making love,not this one,the lust filled touch,hell,he missed the way Tony whispers sweet words onto his ear,pure love,not just lust.He missed the way Tony moans onto his ear,the way he kisses his neck and buries his face on his hair after they made love.

Loki just wants to go back to the time when he was drunk with Steve while Tony’s gone for the business trip,he wants to go straight to the bed to sleep rather than staying on the bar with Steve.He banged his head on the wall,sobbing with regret and guilt.

**_Why?_ **

**_Why?_ **

_You foolish oaf,he sacrificed everything for you, **he loves you!**_

He cries on the cold,downtown road that night,crying out his love for Tony.

_It wasn’t supposed to end like this!_

_They’re going to live happily forever_

_Tony would be immortal too_

_Have kids and grandchildren when they grow old together_

**_NO NO NO NO NO!_ **

Small cuts,wide cuts began to fill his wrists,blood trickling down his hands mercilessly every time the knife or razorblade pierced through his pale skin,he’d be dead within days if he is just a mere mortal,but the cuts didn’t do him any pain.Tricking your body to stop healing yourself isn’t that easy when you’re an Aesir.

He just wanted to die,he has no one but himself now.

But, He also wanted to go back,he wanted to be in Tony’s arms again.

**_He wanted to be safe._ **

But the damage has been done,it is never going to be the same anymore.

And this time he has no chance to fix the mistake.

Not like the redemption that Thor gave to him after he knew that Loki was dating Tony.

No.He’s completely helpless in this universe,He’s not Loki of Asgard nor Jotunheim,he’s Loki,and only Loki.


End file.
